I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just puked most of my soul out..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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