12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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