I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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