did you get engaged???
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
