Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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