the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
