My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
