Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
