I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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