Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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