Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
