We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize