why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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