Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I wear drunk well.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
