Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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