I CAN MOONWALK!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
