just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
