I want to make a zoo with you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
