I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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