He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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