Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
