Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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