After last night, I could never be a politician.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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