when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
