just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
