Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
