my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
