I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i've created a new STD.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
