I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
