Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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