why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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