he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
