good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
