How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
