I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
