um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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