Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
