Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
