She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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