We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
