is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
