there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
