I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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