You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
