That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just google imaged poop.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
