ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We need to rekindle our bromance
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
