When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
