i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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