didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
