i think i have two assholes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
