If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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