I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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