we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
