He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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