he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
