her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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