Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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