i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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