Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
