so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Floor bacon is actually really good
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
