Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she told me i tasted like america
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
