That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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