Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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